It's just a phase, I'm sure! Apparently I was more hilarious prior to The Move. I think I'm still working through the Tauren abhorrence of upheaval and the loss of my ruts. Once I settle in here and find my place I'll return to my formerly jovial and amusing self!
I think I still am feeling that limbo sort of thing where I don't really belong here. Having a job helps; I'm talking to real live human beings again and a kid who listed "mt. biking and hiking" among his interests applied the other day. Maybe he'll get hired and I can bug him to show me some trails. Then I'll meet other bikers and get back that part of my life and feel even MORE settled.
At any rate, thanks to Shannon and David for their wonderful comments. To David, I must say that the "sad and sorry" comment applied to the quantity, NOT the quality of my posters. :) I know that my folks and my best friend read the Blog, but they never comment. Russell reads and comments from time to time, but NOT ENOUGH! My fellow Larp-er Chris in Dallas reads--or used to--but hasn't commented in some time. I think fellow WoW-er Brian might take a peek now that he knows I'm here, but so far has not said hello. So here's a message to all you lurkers: I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE! For the love of pete, just say "Hi" once in a while. It's not that difficult and it will do wonders for my ego--cos you all know how fragile and insecure I am! LOL!
In other news:
I have been given the task of making devliled eggs and perhaps a "jello salad" for Thanksgiving Dinner at my sister's. I had previously informed her that I love to bake and do some really good deserts--that I'd even do a veggie or fruit tray if needed. And the email I get today informs me that I've been given deviled eggs and/or jello salad. WTF? I think I can manage the eggs. Jello salad? Not only does it sound gross; I have no idea what it involves. I'm pretty sure it's the POLAR OPPOSITE of baking.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
Roto-Blog
My fellow internet denizen, David, has a blog here, and while I've always thought it a clever title and apropo to the vehicle, this morning it really dawned on me.
Journals and Blogs should clean things out a bit more perhaps than I've allowed. I do censor myself here because I know it's being read. Read by a sad sorry few, to judge by the comments or, rather, lack thereof, but read nonetheless. I wonder how healthy that is? It's enough that we go through our everydays censoring our thoughts and actions for fear what someone else might think, but to do it here, in a place that should serve as some sort of catharsis is just wrong.
That said, I'm not going to suddenly launch into a cursing rant about my deepest darkest fears and desires, but I will promise to (try) to be a little more forthcoming about stuff and not just tell you about cleaning the kitchen or getting my bank stuff sorted out. I'm still going to talk about the dogs and Russell, and I may even mention work from time to time. But I think I'm going to unleash a bit more. I owe it to myself. And you're all adults. I don't have to protect you from anything.
But we'll start on that for the next session. For now I have to go to work. :)
Journals and Blogs should clean things out a bit more perhaps than I've allowed. I do censor myself here because I know it's being read. Read by a sad sorry few, to judge by the comments or, rather, lack thereof, but read nonetheless. I wonder how healthy that is? It's enough that we go through our everydays censoring our thoughts and actions for fear what someone else might think, but to do it here, in a place that should serve as some sort of catharsis is just wrong.
That said, I'm not going to suddenly launch into a cursing rant about my deepest darkest fears and desires, but I will promise to (try) to be a little more forthcoming about stuff and not just tell you about cleaning the kitchen or getting my bank stuff sorted out. I'm still going to talk about the dogs and Russell, and I may even mention work from time to time. But I think I'm going to unleash a bit more. I owe it to myself. And you're all adults. I don't have to protect you from anything.
But we'll start on that for the next session. For now I have to go to work. :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Observations
1) Living in Phoenix is kind of like being on vacation everyday, at least from the scenery standpoint. There are mountains and palm trees and it feels a little like any movie about Hollywood I've ever scene. Or Miami Vice. Either way, neither places are ones I'd ever hoped to inhabit.
2) The weather has been nice, I gotta say. Cool and sunny during the day and downright chilly at night. It's a shame I spend every waking moment indoors. Gotta do something about that.
3) The birds at the Arizona Bread Company 'round the bend from where I work are downright shameless beggars, but they gave me a hearty laugh today as they swooped en masse to pick up my tossed calzone bits.
4) I need one of those voice-recorder things so I can remember little bits of wisdom I think during the day, cos I sure as hell can't remember them on my own. HINT HINT
5) The job has been tolerable this week, owing mostly to the fact that I've not been there on my own as much. And I'm getting to know the store a little better. And I've started to just pretend like I know a lot more than I do.
6) The more I look at the computer the more my eyes hurt and, did you hear? They are finding that prolonged computer usage seems to result in an increase in glaucoma cases--particularly in nearsighted folks. *sigh*
7) Yeah. So. Tomorrow is my day off. I'll let you know how my jaunt to the Bank goes--they made a deposit to my savings that should have been to my checking, and now I'm overdrawn. They've admitted it was their mistake, for the most part. Now I just gotta make them own up and fix it. War, I say, WAR!
and, goodnight.
2) The weather has been nice, I gotta say. Cool and sunny during the day and downright chilly at night. It's a shame I spend every waking moment indoors. Gotta do something about that.
3) The birds at the Arizona Bread Company 'round the bend from where I work are downright shameless beggars, but they gave me a hearty laugh today as they swooped en masse to pick up my tossed calzone bits.
4) I need one of those voice-recorder things so I can remember little bits of wisdom I think during the day, cos I sure as hell can't remember them on my own. HINT HINT
5) The job has been tolerable this week, owing mostly to the fact that I've not been there on my own as much. And I'm getting to know the store a little better. And I've started to just pretend like I know a lot more than I do.
6) The more I look at the computer the more my eyes hurt and, did you hear? They are finding that prolonged computer usage seems to result in an increase in glaucoma cases--particularly in nearsighted folks. *sigh*
7) Yeah. So. Tomorrow is my day off. I'll let you know how my jaunt to the Bank goes--they made a deposit to my savings that should have been to my checking, and now I'm overdrawn. They've admitted it was their mistake, for the most part. Now I just gotta make them own up and fix it. War, I say, WAR!
and, goodnight.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Fog
I'm never sure what day it is anymore, since I have such a whacked out work schedule. Today is Monday, because the dog calendar on the tv says so, but it feels like a Thursday or something. I guess it's my Wednesday, because my ONLY day off this week is Thursday...three days from now. "Overtime. Overtime. Overtime." That is my mantra and it shall keep me plugging along. The bills aren't giving up; how can I?
It's raining again. This is the wettest desert I've ever been in. Sure, sure, it's the only desert, but it's still the wettest. People keep saying we need it, but for what? Are the rocks around here some sort of life form that has been conspiratorialy(!!??!) kept from the rest of the world?
Anyway. I went to let the dogs out, and there was the rain. Damn.
And I have to leave for work in about an hour, so I'm going to go bathe and eat and other mundane things.
It's raining again. This is the wettest desert I've ever been in. Sure, sure, it's the only desert, but it's still the wettest. People keep saying we need it, but for what? Are the rocks around here some sort of life form that has been conspiratorialy(!!??!) kept from the rest of the world?
Anyway. I went to let the dogs out, and there was the rain. Damn.
And I have to leave for work in about an hour, so I'm going to go bathe and eat and other mundane things.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Poo Patrol
It's a brighter day! Spicy ginger and garlic chicken in the oven, flip flops on my feet. Headed into the backyard to de-poopify it. Delilah is a poo-prude, we've decided. She has issues with poopin while on walks; she always saves it for the yard. Bucket, in typical man-style, will poop anywhere, anytime--including the yard in prolific quantities.
In other news:
I have to work every day except Thursday next week. But OH! the overtime! Right? Right. And I'm only "alone" (aka, the sole supervisor) in the store for two hours on Tuesday night. That makes a huge difference in my "I hate this f*$&ing job" mantra. This week it will simply be "I hate these f**#ing hours".
Poo awaits.
In other news:
I have to work every day except Thursday next week. But OH! the overtime! Right? Right. And I'm only "alone" (aka, the sole supervisor) in the store for two hours on Tuesday night. That makes a huge difference in my "I hate this f*$&ing job" mantra. This week it will simply be "I hate these f**#ing hours".
Poo awaits.
Friday, November 12, 2004
Some Stuff
Um. I just wrote a lot of words about my psycho freak out yesterday, but it's probably not something you want to hear about and mostly I just needed to put some things into words to try to work it out.
Suffice it to say:
1) I'm going through a phase where it seems like everything I do is messed up. In the past month I've been rear-ended, backed into someone, cut and bruised myself in amazingly imaginative ways, dropped and broken things, burnt things, lost things, etc, etc, etc.... The planets are mis-aligned, surely.
2) The dogs are frustrating me beyond reason and after talking to Russell about it we are going to make a concerted effort to spend more active time with them in hopes of alleviating that frustration. If that doesn't work, we may look into rehoming them. We got up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning to take them for a walk, and that actually was really nice. It was great for us to be able to spend more time together and talk, too. I miss that.
3) My dream job is turning into a nightmare (I'm actually a little sick to my stomach right now thinking of going back in, and yesterday I very nearly threw up thinking of it...long story), but I've decided to stick it out for a bit longer to see if things get better. I think I can last through the Holiday Rush at least, and not let them down and keep some $$ rolling in so we can take care of some bills and have Holidays ourselves.
4) Russell is the most amazing person ever in the whole world to just listen to my ranting and raving and not flee screaming from the house in a fit of terror. I was appallingly weepy, needy, bitchy, and hurtful last night, and he stuck by me through it all, just listening and letting me know that he wants to help in any way he can. I'm not sure I would have done the same in his position (I was that horrible). I'm so lucky to have a friend/partner like him.
5) I'm feeling much better right now, but still dreading work. I have to leave here in about an hour. Middle shift, and I'm going to do my damndest to get out of there ON TIME tonight. I still don't know my schedule for tomorrow or next week, which puts the Tauren in me right up against the precipice of insanity, but I'll find out today AND get paid, so perhaps it will all turn out okay.
So there you go. A more concise rant than the original one. Fewer sordid details. Trust me when I tell you, you don't want to know.
Suffice it to say:
1) I'm going through a phase where it seems like everything I do is messed up. In the past month I've been rear-ended, backed into someone, cut and bruised myself in amazingly imaginative ways, dropped and broken things, burnt things, lost things, etc, etc, etc.... The planets are mis-aligned, surely.
2) The dogs are frustrating me beyond reason and after talking to Russell about it we are going to make a concerted effort to spend more active time with them in hopes of alleviating that frustration. If that doesn't work, we may look into rehoming them. We got up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning to take them for a walk, and that actually was really nice. It was great for us to be able to spend more time together and talk, too. I miss that.
3) My dream job is turning into a nightmare (I'm actually a little sick to my stomach right now thinking of going back in, and yesterday I very nearly threw up thinking of it...long story), but I've decided to stick it out for a bit longer to see if things get better. I think I can last through the Holiday Rush at least, and not let them down and keep some $$ rolling in so we can take care of some bills and have Holidays ourselves.
4) Russell is the most amazing person ever in the whole world to just listen to my ranting and raving and not flee screaming from the house in a fit of terror. I was appallingly weepy, needy, bitchy, and hurtful last night, and he stuck by me through it all, just listening and letting me know that he wants to help in any way he can. I'm not sure I would have done the same in his position (I was that horrible). I'm so lucky to have a friend/partner like him.
5) I'm feeling much better right now, but still dreading work. I have to leave here in about an hour. Middle shift, and I'm going to do my damndest to get out of there ON TIME tonight. I still don't know my schedule for tomorrow or next week, which puts the Tauren in me right up against the precipice of insanity, but I'll find out today AND get paid, so perhaps it will all turn out okay.
So there you go. A more concise rant than the original one. Fewer sordid details. Trust me when I tell you, you don't want to know.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Oh yeah...
By the way, a college friend of mine sent me an article and this link. We went to school with Laura. She's now going to be on Trading Spaces.
I'm so freaking proud to be working a shitty retail job at this moment.
*sigh*
I'm so freaking proud to be working a shitty retail job at this moment.
*sigh*
Exhaustion
I am tired. Yesterday was the worst day ever (so far) at the store. I had to take my lunch before I'd even been there for two hours and didn't get another break the entire evening (and I was there until nearly midnight). I was the only person with a set of keys or a badge, and there were 2 or three major furniture load-outs which necessitated someone going to the trailers--with keys. I could go on. And on. I left quite a lengthy little "journal" for the opener this morning. In retrospect it may have been a little more whining than constructive information, but I really needed to vent.
Thank goodness I work 10-7 today (nearly guaranteed to be a regular-length shift instead of having to worry about customers coming in late for huge furniture sales and then jamming up the computers with icko credit cards and tieing up the front two registers until nearly a quarter to 10.) and I'm off tomorrow. Not sure when my next day off will be, but I haven't yet had two days off in a row. Wouldn't be so bad, but after yesterday, I need a full-length vacation. And then Russell needed to wake up at 4am to work a bit from home (guess whose side of the bed the alarm is on...), and then of course he popped in to say goodbye before he left a little before 7. I'm NOT complaining; I love that he does that. I'm just a little more tired than usual for being jolted from sleep several times over the course of my already stunted naptime.
So I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, and in every other way exhausted. I really hate sleeping through my day off, particularly since Ikea opens today and I'd hoped to go down tomorrow, but I'll wager I spend a goodly portion of Thursday sleeping or at least lounging as lazily as possible.
Anyway.
Thank goodness I work 10-7 today (nearly guaranteed to be a regular-length shift instead of having to worry about customers coming in late for huge furniture sales and then jamming up the computers with icko credit cards and tieing up the front two registers until nearly a quarter to 10.) and I'm off tomorrow. Not sure when my next day off will be, but I haven't yet had two days off in a row. Wouldn't be so bad, but after yesterday, I need a full-length vacation. And then Russell needed to wake up at 4am to work a bit from home (guess whose side of the bed the alarm is on...), and then of course he popped in to say goodbye before he left a little before 7. I'm NOT complaining; I love that he does that. I'm just a little more tired than usual for being jolted from sleep several times over the course of my already stunted naptime.
So I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, and in every other way exhausted. I really hate sleeping through my day off, particularly since Ikea opens today and I'd hoped to go down tomorrow, but I'll wager I spend a goodly portion of Thursday sleeping or at least lounging as lazily as possible.
Anyway.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
I want to know....
What kind of job (or sick mind) a person has to have to enable them to spend >$550.00 on Christmas ornaments!
Lady came into the store last night and did just that. Three baskets of glitter-encrusted glass ornaments. She didn't even bat an eye when I gave her the total. I might not have thought much of it except that she admitted to having one 10 foot tree that was already filled to capacity and a garagefull of yet more decorations. To the point where she's embarrassed to open her garage door while townhouse neighbours are nearby (you learn a lot about a person while you're taking 20 minutes to personally handle and ring up their $500 worth of glass and glitter.).
Anyway.
We went to see The Incredibles today, and it was a great flick. That should come as no surprise, as Pixar has never disappointed. We were going to go for a hike, but it rained today (not sure if anyone else besides me understands the irony of all the damn rain here in the desert!!!), so post Cine-Capri we went for food and grocery and then came home to watch Calendar Girls, throughout which my eyes leaked profusely. Major chick flick, and props to my honey for suffering through it with me and not making nasty comments about old nekkid boobies.
Dooce!
Lady came into the store last night and did just that. Three baskets of glitter-encrusted glass ornaments. She didn't even bat an eye when I gave her the total. I might not have thought much of it except that she admitted to having one 10 foot tree that was already filled to capacity and a garagefull of yet more decorations. To the point where she's embarrassed to open her garage door while townhouse neighbours are nearby (you learn a lot about a person while you're taking 20 minutes to personally handle and ring up their $500 worth of glass and glitter.).
Anyway.
We went to see The Incredibles today, and it was a great flick. That should come as no surprise, as Pixar has never disappointed. We were going to go for a hike, but it rained today (not sure if anyone else besides me understands the irony of all the damn rain here in the desert!!!), so post Cine-Capri we went for food and grocery and then came home to watch Calendar Girls, throughout which my eyes leaked profusely. Major chick flick, and props to my honey for suffering through it with me and not making nasty comments about old nekkid boobies.
Dooce!
Friday, November 05, 2004
Kimbra
She's my best best best friend, and she called me last night to say hello and get the skinny--cos I don't update my blog enough (or, probably more to the point, with enough juicy life details). Hm. So.
It's 10:30 on Friday morning, and I can hear the trash truck roaming around the neighbourhood and I'm cringing with the realisation that there is quite a lot of nastiness in the fridge that needed to be thrown out and taken to the curb last night. Things are starting to get stinky. I didn't do it yesterday morning, and didn't get home until nearly midnight last night (this new job is fun and all, but my GOD the hours suck ass!) and well, it just didn't get done.
I have to work 1-10 tonight and tomorrow night, but I'm off on Sunday. We have no plans that I know of, but I suspect we may try to go see a movie. Or maybe we'll just sit around all day and play WoW. I'm trying to convince myself to quit cold turkey so I can have my life back, but Russell's very excited about the prospect of us getting to play together at release. That would actually be a cool thing, except for the fact that I now work the shittiest hours on the planet and am never home at the same time as him. Anyway.
Maybe we can go for a hike on Sunday, like we briefly did last weekend after working on his new office space. There is a trail just on the way to the new (temporary) location of BlueSquare Studios, so we stopped off and walked a bit. It was really cool, and a nice workout. Yeah, maybe I'll lobby for that.
This split weekend/weekdays off thing is for the birds. I'm not giving up on the job yet, because I *do* enjoy it, but the hours are not going to get any better--and in fact are guaranteed to get worse over the holidays. I'm going to stick it out a bit more and see if I can hack it. At least until the 13th when I get my first paycheck which will have substantial overtime. Perhaps that will cushion the absentee-honey blows a bit.
Anyway. Other than working and gaming and reorganising the garage and playing with the new washing machine, there really isn't that much to report. I don't have a life here yet outside of all that. I miss my biking buddies in OKC. I miss having an indoor soccer team. I miss being bored at work and having big conversations about *stuff* with co-workers. I miss Russell!!
I think, on that note, that I will go play with the pups a bit and take a shower a bit later go to work a bit later still. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get home closer to 10pm tonight like I'm supposed to.
It's 10:30 on Friday morning, and I can hear the trash truck roaming around the neighbourhood and I'm cringing with the realisation that there is quite a lot of nastiness in the fridge that needed to be thrown out and taken to the curb last night. Things are starting to get stinky. I didn't do it yesterday morning, and didn't get home until nearly midnight last night (this new job is fun and all, but my GOD the hours suck ass!) and well, it just didn't get done.
I have to work 1-10 tonight and tomorrow night, but I'm off on Sunday. We have no plans that I know of, but I suspect we may try to go see a movie. Or maybe we'll just sit around all day and play WoW. I'm trying to convince myself to quit cold turkey so I can have my life back, but Russell's very excited about the prospect of us getting to play together at release. That would actually be a cool thing, except for the fact that I now work the shittiest hours on the planet and am never home at the same time as him. Anyway.
Maybe we can go for a hike on Sunday, like we briefly did last weekend after working on his new office space. There is a trail just on the way to the new (temporary) location of BlueSquare Studios, so we stopped off and walked a bit. It was really cool, and a nice workout. Yeah, maybe I'll lobby for that.
This split weekend/weekdays off thing is for the birds. I'm not giving up on the job yet, because I *do* enjoy it, but the hours are not going to get any better--and in fact are guaranteed to get worse over the holidays. I'm going to stick it out a bit more and see if I can hack it. At least until the 13th when I get my first paycheck which will have substantial overtime. Perhaps that will cushion the absentee-honey blows a bit.
Anyway. Other than working and gaming and reorganising the garage and playing with the new washing machine, there really isn't that much to report. I don't have a life here yet outside of all that. I miss my biking buddies in OKC. I miss having an indoor soccer team. I miss being bored at work and having big conversations about *stuff* with co-workers. I miss Russell!!
I think, on that note, that I will go play with the pups a bit and take a shower a bit later go to work a bit later still. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get home closer to 10pm tonight like I'm supposed to.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Hypocrite!
Yeah, that's me. Because I am going to bitch about the ignorance of the American public and their choice of President. I say "their" and "hypocrite" because, you guessed it, I didn't vote. I am registered in Oklahoma (no time to get registered here before the election) and completely forgot I could get an absentee ballot for OK right up until sometime last week. I totally dropped the ball, but somehow I'm fairly confident with the fact that my one lousy vote would not have tipped the scales in Bible-thumping-let's-kill-everyone-different-from-us-and-if-we-can't-kill-them-we-can-at-least-take-over-their-lives-militia-style Oklahoma.
*sigh*
So we will continue to live the lie of the Iraqi war--no, wait, the war is officially over (although more servicemen have died since the end of the war than during the whole of the actual war)...so we'll just continue to pay billions of dollars into an effort to rebuild a country that was mostly just fine until we stuck our noses into it. Yeah, Saddam was an asshole. So is Bush, by my standards. Good thing the USA is the only country with enough arrogance to insist that everyone does things our way, or we might be faced with Canada or France barging in to oust him!! But I digress.
We will continue to live in a so-called "Advanced" society where discrimination over folks who love differently than a select few in power is not only okay, but promoted. We will most likely see the appointment of one, possibly two or more Supreme Court Justices that subscribe to the same belief system as Dubya. Scary times, scary times.
I need to do some more research, I suppose, but all in all, I'm pretty disappointed. But hey, we got a new washing machine (after a month and a half without), so I shouldn't complain. I should shut up and go launder.
*sigh*
So we will continue to live the lie of the Iraqi war--no, wait, the war is officially over (although more servicemen have died since the end of the war than during the whole of the actual war)...so we'll just continue to pay billions of dollars into an effort to rebuild a country that was mostly just fine until we stuck our noses into it. Yeah, Saddam was an asshole. So is Bush, by my standards. Good thing the USA is the only country with enough arrogance to insist that everyone does things our way, or we might be faced with Canada or France barging in to oust him!! But I digress.
We will continue to live in a so-called "Advanced" society where discrimination over folks who love differently than a select few in power is not only okay, but promoted. We will most likely see the appointment of one, possibly two or more Supreme Court Justices that subscribe to the same belief system as Dubya. Scary times, scary times.
I need to do some more research, I suppose, but all in all, I'm pretty disappointed. But hey, we got a new washing machine (after a month and a half without), so I shouldn't complain. I should shut up and go launder.
Monday, November 01, 2004
technoburp
sometimes the computer just has the hiccups. blogger gets them more than I'd prefer. I just typed out a lovely little diatribe on my new job and the tasks at hand for this, my day off, and I got a "NOPE" message. So maybe this nonsese will post.
hmph.
hmph.
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